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dancys:

@marvel Flattery will get you nowhere! Probably. Maybe. *looks the other way* 

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oyfey:

ohhowlucky:

danteogodofsoup:

killbenedictcumberbatch:

standupcomedyblog:

John Mulaney | The Salt & Pepper Diner

THE BEST JOKE IN EXISTENCE

GOD I JUST TOLD SOMEONE ABOUT THIS STORY

This is one of the best pieces of comedy that I have ever had the pleasure of witnessing. I love this. I have been looking for this online for awhile.

Love this but lets be real, nothing beats the Xanax story

(Source: timetoputonashow)

I’M NOT CRYING, YOU’RE CRYING

thatwetshirt:

School of Rock (2003)

God of Rock, thank you for this chance to kick ass. We are your humble servants. Please give us the power to blow people’s minds with our high voltage rock. In your name we pray, Amen.

The X-Files + Color Palettes

- Pilot -

(Source: bigbywolves)

death-by-lulz:

HIMYM AU: Barney finds out that Robin works for S.H.I.E.L.D as Agent Hill (Part 1)

(Source: the-jesus-0f-suburbia)

unsmokable:

matchingisoverrated:

demonhiccups:

I decided to bleep out the lines on “I’m a Boss Ass Bitch” so I can listen to it properly in church. 

IM LAUGHING SO HARD RIGHT NOW

I had high expectations and I was not let down

Leslie meeting Michelle Obama is all that is important to me rn.

are we?

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